24 October 2009
How to please a woman
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, :
Can your dog perform other tricks?". "But of course", the man answers,
"he can even satisfy a woman." Anxious to know more the girl leads the
man and the dog into a little room above the bar.
She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.
The dogs looks at her and does nothing.
"It's always the same thing with you!",
the man then shouts to the dog,
'I'll show you how to do it one last time'.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, :
Can your dog perform other tricks?". "But of course", the man answers,
"he can even satisfy a woman." Anxious to know more the girl leads the
man and the dog into a little room above the bar.
She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.
The dogs looks at her and does nothing.
"It's always the same thing with you!",
the man then shouts to the dog,
'I'll show you how to do it one last time'.
18 October 2009
11 October 2009
Now that's what I call an Explanation
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a
very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do
this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce
right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady
here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't
eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing
devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her
clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years,
but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear
because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her,
and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because
someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and
help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use ???
very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do
this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce
right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady
here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't
eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing
devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her
clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years,
but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear
because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her,
and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because
someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and
help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use ???
Girl at 18
When an apple is green, its ready to pluck.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to…
"
"
"
"
"
VOTE.
You dirty mind, Elections are near,but I know what you were thinking.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to…
"
"
"
"
"
VOTE.
You dirty mind, Elections are near,but I know what you were thinking.
10 October 2009
02 October 2009
Amul butter
Wats common between a girl and amul butter ??
both are utterly butterly delicious
when spread one on bed and ohter on bread.
both are utterly butterly delicious
when spread one on bed and ohter on bread.
FTV
Father watching FTV
suddenly son came,
Father says garib ladkiyan hai kapday lenay kay liya paise nahi hai
Son replies: Isse bhi garib aaya to mujay bulana.
suddenly son came,
Father says garib ladkiyan hai kapday lenay kay liya paise nahi hai
Son replies: Isse bhi garib aaya to mujay bulana.
Wife singing song
Wife: Jab may gana gati hun to tum balcony may kyun jatay ho
Husband: Padosi yeh no sochay kay may tumara gala dabata hun.
Husband: Padosi yeh no sochay kay may tumara gala dabata hun.
Six and sex
Whats the difference between six and sex ??
Ball ko uthakar upar say maro to six
Ball ko dabakar niche say maro to sex.
Ball ko uthakar upar say maro to six
Ball ko dabakar niche say maro to sex.
lady to Doctor
A beautiful lady to doctor
aaj kal meray shohar meray saath nahi sotay
Doctor: yeh problem hai ya invitation.
aaj kal meray shohar meray saath nahi sotay
Doctor: yeh problem hai ya invitation.
Men
Seventy percent of married man cheat their wife in India
The rest go n cheat in Bangkok, malaysia, thailand, pataya.
The rest go n cheat in Bangkok, malaysia, thailand, pataya.
Intelligent wife
An intelligent wife is one who makes sure
she spend so much that her husband cant
afford another women.
she spend so much that her husband cant
afford another women.
Zulfe
Husband Wife say: Hata lay apni chehray say ye zulfan,
A zanay tamana khuda kasam,
agli bar khane may bal aaya to sajni say gajni bana doonga.
A zanay tamana khuda kasam,
agli bar khane may bal aaya to sajni say gajni bana doonga.
shadi nahi karunga
Boy me shadi nahi karunga
Dad : why ?
Boy: Shehar wale meri mangetar ko taxi kehtay hai
Dad: Aray beta karlay chota sa shehar hai,
kitni chali hogi.
Dad : why ?
Boy: Shehar wale meri mangetar ko taxi kehtay hai
Dad: Aray beta karlay chota sa shehar hai,
kitni chali hogi.
smooth and calm
The duck looks smooth and calm on top of the water,
but underneath there is restless peddling.
In life nothing worthwile comes without struggle.
but underneath there is restless peddling.
In life nothing worthwile comes without struggle.
life
Life is different then a teacher
A teacher teaches a lesson then takes a exam,
But life first takes a exam, then teaches a lesson.
A teacher teaches a lesson then takes a exam,
But life first takes a exam, then teaches a lesson.
Angry Husband
Angry Husband send SMS to Father-in-law
"Your product not matching my requirements"
Smart Father-in-law replied
Warranty Expired, Manufcatrurer not responsible.
"Your product not matching my requirements"
Smart Father-in-law replied
Warranty Expired, Manufcatrurer not responsible.
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